February. To some, and Hallmark, it’s the month of love. I don’t hate the holiday that is in the month, but I think if you love someone you should show it every day and not just one special day of the year. My point is I wanted to write about an album that has a lot of love. I own many records on the subject, but one stands out the most.
This “review” has been taking me about two months to write. I almost didn’t post it because I felt that it was too personal. When I say “review”, I think it is known that I talk about how these albums have affected my life. I can tell when, where, and how I was feeling when I purchased any album and then how they made me feel. These aren’t the typical album review.
Anyway, I wasn’t going to post about this album, but after seeing the documentary Sound City in theatres I decided I should. Watching that documentary I saw many high named musicians spill out their guts on how music is such a big part of their lives. Someone watching it might think it was too nostalgic or emotional, but to me it was like minded people being able to relate to each other. It was fascinating and inspirational, and so much so that I said I will talk about this album in great detail. Might seem very personal, but that’s me. Also no one has ever heard me talk about my situation in this detail.
A little background. I dated a girl, it is always a girl isn’t it, for three years in college. It was perfect. It was love. It was meant to be. Out of my 25 years of life, it was the best three years. Yet here I am writing about the one that got away. Not to go into too much detail, but we ended with unanswered questions. To this day I still don’t know what exactly made us end it. There was no cheating, fighting, or anything like that. It just ended. However, during the aftermath, three albums helped me get through it all. I Can Make A Mess Like Nobody’s Business The World We Know, We Shot The Moon A Silver Lining, and The Graduate Only Every Time. Hopefully my label will be able to put the first two out on vinyl when someone takes a chance on me.
The Graduate album though, helped me remember how important she was and how I was feeling after the whole break up. Almost every song plays a key role in the aftermath, and that is impressive. Now, if you don’t know who The Graduate is, go listen and then come back to this. This band, like my relationship, ended too soon. This band should have been huge and playing arenas. Their music, lyrics, and vocals are by far the best in the industry. Sadly everything ends, but they left us with great music, and left me with amazing memories I’ll never forget.
Only Every Time starts off the right way with a good drum intro. “Don’t Die Digging” has the typical Graduate sound, atmospheric guitars, sequencing, and the extra drumming that would’ve sounded phenomenal in arena setting. When I first heard this song, I feel in love with the opening lines. I related to it because after a break up like this, not having that person lying next to you is the worst feeling.
“It’s just another lonely night that I can’t sleep,
You know it’s scary how much I need you lying next to me”
The album progressively stays on target with the aggressiveness. “Siren” shows off the guitar work of the Graduate and the many techniques they are capable of doing. This song really does sound like Sirens singing to a helpless man. Another song where Corey’s lyrics help me realizes that I love this girl so much so that I will always will until the very end.
“Follies of youth,
No one loves you like I do,
I’m already here so I’ll stay,
I’m all yours until they put me in my grave.”
Moving along, The Graduate slows it down with their first slower number in “Stuck (Inside My Head). If you know The Graduate, you know their slower songs are always the best songs, but this time they end it with multiple drums. I should post the entire lyrics to this song because when I heard it, I always remember thinking about the next day after a break up. The countless hours sitting in bed, the reminiscing, the isolation, etc, and thinking about it now sounds sad. Yet, once you get past that phase, weirdly enough, you start to miss.
“So what’s the point in waking up,
When everything around me is falling?
I’m stuck inside my head and can’t get out,
Can you hear me now?
What’s the point in waking up,
When you are not around and I’m calling?
For someone just to help me find the ground,
So I can come back down.”
“Pull Me In”. If I was Razor & Tie Record’s President, I would’ve called a meeting and said, “I am putting all our marketing money into this song. I want it in every romance and romantic comedy movie trailer and end credits. I want to hear it everywhere I go, because it is that damn good.” This song should have pushed The Graduate into stardom if marketed right. Even the music video was beautifully shot and made you want to be in love.
“I’m falling over edges with you,
I’m longing just to see your face again,
I’m taking on the world,
To give you everything you need while I’m away”
“Choke” is one of the personal songs for me. Anytime I hear it, it reminds me of the time that I went to Newport, Rhode Island with her. She was from the New England area, and she always went to the beach every summer. This was one of the few times I went with her. I remember holding her in the ocean and she said something like this all just feels right and perfect. I remember just smiling and feeling like this will never end. This song brings that moment back crystal clear, and it is true, being with her was the only time I felt alive.
“Leave all your clothes buried in the sand,
Who knows when we’ll be coming back again,
Come on in, the water’s getting cold,
See if you sink or swim or float,
When the tide came in, we tried to act surprised,
What could the ocean want with the things that we left behind,
Swimming back to land and I realized,
It was the only time that year I felt alive.
Feels like I’m living someone else’s dream,
I tried my best to keep from turning back,
I’m scared you may have been my better half”
Everyone knows who their first kiss was. Everyone also knows who their first love was. Only some remember exactly when they fell hard for someone. My story of that is kind of sad, but also happy. It was the end of my sophomore year and the end of her freshman year. I was leaving the campus before her because I finished my exams, but also I had to hop on a plane the next morning to fly to California to start tour. I still remember standing in the parking lot with her. At this point we were only dating for about five months, but we were in love. It was love at first sight I might add, something I never thought existed. We were saying our goodbyes, and she started to cry. At first I was confused, but then I was happy. At that moment I didn’t know what true love was. It is still hard to describe what true love is, but you will know when it happens and this was my moment. Knowing that we were going to be far away from each other for so long and the next time we would see each other is when the tour stopped in Boston was a sad thought. I knew right then and there that this girl cared about me more than words could describe. All I could do was smile and hold her tight knowing that someone will truly miss me. “Permanent Tourist” is almost an autobiography of that whole summer for me. The mood, tone, and lyrics of that song hit perfectly. It is hard to only pick certain lines, so unfortunately I am going to add all of them. Another personal song for me.
“Alone on a plane,
I woke to the engine stop,
Planned a course outside,
Just to get caught up,
By every obstacle along the way,
So much to explain,
And only a single day to plead my case,
There’s nothing else to do,
Just hope it’s not too late,
For far too long,
I kept you in the dark,
Can’t believe it took so long to start.
How can I find you now,
Because it feels like time is running out,
And I said when I left,
That would not ever let you down,
Got to find my way back somehow.
I am much older now,
And I feel like time running out,
When we get to the end,
Can you promise that you’ll be around,
If I make you that promise now.
Back out on the endless road that’s become my home,
This entire year on the lam has shown me,
All the more that this is in my blood.
I don’t mean to alarm,
But the past two months have left me hysterical,
It’s time for something new,
I get crazy without you,
And all along we tried to keep apart,
Can’t believe it took so long to start.
Driving back to our town,
Take it slow, keep it down,
Put this mess in the ground,
Just my luck, you came around,
Now it seems we’ll let it shine,
Mine and yours, yours and mine.
The longer that you wait,
The harder it’ll be,
So if you want to stay,
Why don’t you come with me?”
The last song I want to comment on is “End Of The World Delight”. This song is where I was after I tried to win her back. I tried so many things, and I had plenty more until everyone convinced me that it was time for her to miss me. I still hope I made the right decision.
“Because hope has never been enough,
To be sure is asking for too much.
Everything I try seems so impossible,
Everything I have would be enough for someone else,
But I want more,
I can’t win.
Such a shame,
That we may never see the truth in everything,
We can’t explain.”
Looking back on this review, I must sound pathetic, but it took a lot out of me to write. I never explained those personal stories before, but this album brings it out of me. Last I knew she has been dating a guy for a while. Who knows maybe one day she will read this and maybe one day we will talk again, wouldn’t that be a hoot if both happened haha. That’s how life is though, we never know what will happen next. Will I ever see her again? I don’t know. It is up to the Gods to make that call. If it happens it happens, but if someone else comes around then that’s how it was meant to be. I know this though, let it be her or someone else, I will always look at that person as if she was a present I have been waiting forever to open and in every moment I see her, she will be all that matters.
The first vinyl release from an Absolutepunk.net user. His label, American Dream Records, did an excellent job on this vinyl reissue which is now sold out. I can’t deny it, but I am jealous he is able to release vinyl. I love the variant of white with black splatter. For a while this was my favorite vinyl release. It came with a digital download and lyric sheet, which is a plus. Also has a bonus song, “Sea Legs”, which is a nice perk. This is how vinyl should be release, extra goodies. It’s funny how music makes us relate and have us reveal some of our secrets. This is why I love music, I love the feeling I get when I listen to an album. In this case it helps me remember memories I hope to never loose and remember of a time that meant so much to me.